Wednesday, July 7, 2010

All These Bad Times I'm Going Through, Just Dance!

Mood: Elated

Music: We're Dancing by PYT

I realised today that there is only one thing that can turn my mood around in an instant. That can take me from the lowest low to the highest high. That can actually take me to a different world where everything is perfect. Dance. After such a dull disappointing day, which left me in a terrible mood, I was not keen to go or be anywhere. Dragging myself up out of my wallowing state, a pottered off to dance rehearsals this evening. Within a minute of getting up and dancing I was on top of the world! It is truly an amazing feeling. It's like nothing else exists except you and the music; that feeling you get like nothing else matters except what you are doing in that instant.

I really don't know what I would do without dance in my life. It keeps me going when everything is wrong. It wakes me up, even when I don't want to get out of bed and it puts me to sleep with a smile on my face. While I may not ever make it to the top or have professional work, I will never, ever stop dancing. I used to think that there would be no point in dancing if I couldn't get into WAAPA or get a job; now I know that I will ALWAYS dance. Whether it's just at a local dance academy or in a top paying professional company - it doesn't matter, as long as I'm still doing it. I have really found my one true love.

Good night and sweet dreams from a love struck dancer!

Beeje xx

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Go Ahead, Drive Me Insane Why Don't You?

Mood: Frustrated

Music: Hot 'n' Cold by Katy Perry

Any member of the female species would be able to agree with me when I say: boys are SO stupid. And frustrating, infuriating, upsetting, confusing; need I go on? I seriously think I'm going to go bald, considering the amount of hair I have been tearing out in utter frustration this week. Can you believe that guys have the audacity to call us confusing? I think they need to have a good hard look at themselves before making those kind of accusations. They're all gooey and sweet one moment, then BAM, they shrug us off like we're some unwanted fly! Then they play dumb like they have no idea what we are on about - "What is it? Have I done something wrong?"

Personal experience does not just tell me this. Having seen many of my girlfriends whine and cringe at the male species, I have gathered that my opinion is the general consensus. You may be thinking "But my guy is perfect!" Oh how wrong you are. Think back; I'm guessing you will be able to recall a time where you wanted to strangle the hell out of him huh? Bet you can remember a time where he was so hot and cold that you thought he had an inbuilt thermostat that was going haywire, hmm? Oh, but I don't think it's just boyfriends either; dads, husbands, grandfathers, little brothers, friends or the in betweens - they are all the same. You might be thinking "How would you know? You're only 17!" This is a fair comment, though I beg to differ. You see, I have to deal with the worst strain of male: the 21st century teenage boy. Very common in all parts of the world, this type of male is particularly confusing and takes joy in breaking the hearts of it's female counterpart, the teenage girl. Vicious and completely jerky in nature, these guys will rip you to shreds with their razor sharp remarks and contradicting actions.

Now, being the fairly intelligent young woman that I am, I realised I would have to come up with a solution for myself, and fast. My thoughts led me to only one plausible and simple solution: move to Germany and become a nun. I hear the weathers fantastic over there.

To all those girls out there with boy complications: Hang on in there and don't fret; you can always come and join my nunnery!

Beeje xx

Monday, June 21, 2010

Nothing Left For Me To Do But Dance

Mood: Mondayitis

Music: The Ding Dong of My MSN Conversation by Renee Leask

Today I have unfortunately caught the horrible and commonly spread disease known as Mondayitis. My day started off as per usual then slowly crept into a rather doom full downward spiral. So, I thought to myself "What on earth can help me feel better?" and the answer was actually rather simple: Dance! Of coarse, being rather late at night and having neighbours asleep downstairs whom I assume would not appreciate hearing the landings out of my grand jete's, this was not the best idea. My second option was to blog. So here I am trying desperately to cure myself of my Mondayitis and dreaming of being in a little studio of my very own, music blaring, pointe shoes on, dancing to my hearts content! Whilst this dream is slightly improbable (ok more like totally unrealistic at the moment), I am very excited for the actual dancing I will be doing in the next few weeks. The next month will see me attending many workshops, rehearsals, competition performances and my schools musical production!

First on my dance to do list is Country Week, where several country schools from West Australia compete against each other in different sports, including dance. A week of highly intensive workshops with many amazing choreographers and choreographing a winning piece for the competition night will make for a fantastic week. Considering my school's team won last year and being on said team, myself and the rest of us all have a reputation to uphold, which is quite nerve racking! (However we are somewhat fabulous, even if I do say so myself!)

The workshops just keep on coming; during the holidays I have the Steps Youth Dance Company workshop 'Freerange' as well as an intensive with Buzz Dance Theatre, both during my holidays. Something tells me a may not be able to walk when I get back to school! In between this I have performances at the Mandurah dance comps with my lovely slow modern and contemporary troupe which I am very much looking forward to! Aside from all of this, the rehersals for our schools production: "The Grynch With a Y, Who Stole Christmas In July" (corny, I know) are in full swing as of this Friday. this of coarse means late nights, grumpy teachers and lots of yelling. Needless to say I will be very excited/sore/tired/grumpy for the next four weeks straight (perahps I should have asked for a large tube of deep heat for my birhtday). Oh just thinking of this makes me quite sleepy! i think perhaps a nice snooze is in order. Off to bed I go.

Goodnight my fellow bloggers and dance enthusiasts!

Beeje xx

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Promise Not To Tell?

Mood: Feeling Special

Music: Do You Want to Know a Secret by Fairground Attraction

Secrets to me have always been very dangerous, tempting and sometimes life ruining little facts. Knowing a someones secret gives you such a strong and deep connection with that person; yet it is one of the most fragile and easiest connections to break. In my life I probably haven't acted the best with secrets. I was considered Rockingham Senior High Schools least trusted gossiper for a while (back in the hay day). I had never really thought about how important a secret was. It's someone having enough trust in you to tell you something that they can barely admit to themselves. It's something someone feels they need to share because they can't deal with themselves anymore. It's a very, very special thing. To me though, for a long time, having others secrets meant an excellent gossiping session with whoever I could get to listen (which was often a lot of people). This made me a lot of enemies and many broken trusts. I began to grow out of it; this didn't erase the fact that keeping others secrets did not seem important to me. 'Promise you won't tell?' meant nothing; the most easily broken promises were the ones regarding others secrets that they had trusted me with. For all those I hurt, I am deeply sorry.

I think a turning point for me was discovering the wonderful, healing and often hilarious website: PostSecret. Having just watched the music video for "Dirty Little Secret" by one of my favourite bands, All American Rejects, I was curious about the postcards held by randoms in the video that all contained a secret on them. After a short few minutes on Google I found PostSecret. Run by an amazing man called Frank Warren, PostSecret is a community 'art project', where people anonymously send in secrets on postcards. Books, exhibits and events where Frank speaks about PostSecret are all apart of this amazing project; my favourite aspect is the website, where Frank posts a page full of new secrets every Sunday. The secrets range from humorous to inspiring to silly to downright heartbreaking (I have often cried when reading them). As I read the website for the first time, I realised how important and special secrets are to people. PostSecret has so many fans telling others how amazing it was to be able to give there secrets to to others. It makes me feel lucky to be able to read those things that are so personal for those people. I knew after seeing the website, I would never tell another persons secret just for the sake of pathetic gossip.

I have been considering sending in my own secret these past few weeks; I am terrified though. What if people laugh at me? Or someone I know realises it's my secret. I guess that's the risk you take when divulging that deeply personal information to others; I hope everyone treats my secret as specially as I do now with other peoples.

You know this all just our little secret right? Promise you won't tell?

Beeje xx

Friday, June 4, 2010

Oh What A Night

Mood: Peaceful and Relaxed

Music: If We Ever Meet Again by Timbaland ft. Katy Perry

After a week of stress it was amazing to being able to party the night away at the post exams get together without any worries of assignments, work or classes. Last night was a very nice break for me; strangely I feel totally rejuvenated! Perhaps because my only social events lately have been shopping (which includes the thrilling task of buying milk and bread) and going downstairs to get the mail. I still feel slightly socially stunted; I wasn't very chatty with all the people I met last night, which is a shame - everyone was very lovely. I think I need to work on my communication skills somewhat, as they seem to be lacking - another symptom of my social malfunction syndrome. Lots of opportunities to sharpen up my skills though; beautiful Amanda's 17th birthday party next weekend and after that we all say goodbye to Yasuyuki at his going away party the weekend after.

The best part of a night out is coming home to a nice clean house and a nice hot shower me-thinks. Sitting here in my trackie-dacks and sloppy jumper is absolutely lovely. All I need now is a steaming hot cup of tea and a nice little chat with one of my darling girls.

Love to all the party people last night!

Beeje xx

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Well I Never!

Mood: Delightfully Surprised

Music: Celebrate Good Times by Kool and the Gang (playing in my head)

I had a dream, that one day, I would experience an exam that would be enjoyable and easy. And that day has come. Seriously. And no, this is not a hoax or a cruel practical joke. I speak the whole truth and nothing but the so help me god. Today I had my 3A Drama written exam, which I have been stressing over since the beginning of the year. Lone behold, I open the exam booklet for reading time today and I realise all my stress has been for nothing. Absolutely nothing - zilch, nada, complete ZERO. My reaction I had contemplated never happened - instead of tears and tantrums, a large smile was plastered on my face and still hasn't left.

While I am immensely happy about this, I can't help but feel slightly short-changed. All that time and energy I had spent on stressing, crying and fretting over the exam was a complete waste! I'm not complaining though, as I really did experience a miracle today. Shame I can't say the same for my exams tomorrow. I know for a fact that my 3A English Literature and my written 2A Dance exams will be my own personal hell, designed and crafted specifically to upset and stress me. Ok, so that may be slight exaggeration, but it certainly feels that way! Normally anything dance excites me and I can't wait for my practical exam; this theory stuff however, is absolutely horrid. And don't get me started on the Literature. 3 hours, 3 in depth analytical essays. Enough said. Perhaps I should be studying for my exams instead of whinging about them on my blog...

Good luck to all the students out there who are unfortunate enough to be doing exams!

Beeje xx

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Sun, Sun, Go Away, Come Again Another Day!

Mood: quite miffed!

Music: does mother talking on the phone count?

As I rolled over in my bed on this cold winter morning, not wanting to move from the snuggle haven that is my bed, I was bombarded, not with freezing cold morning air...but with a stream of blinding sun. Now let me ask you something - What's wrong with this picture?! As much I (and the rest of the population) whine and cringe over the chilly airs, the thunder storms and the window rattling winds, I actually really do love winter. There's nothing better than being able get cozy with your mug of hot chocolate and a good book while listening to a storm raging outside your window. Somehow - and correct me if I'm wrong - sunshine really does not go hand in hand with my warm and snuggley winter dreams. Oh Perth, why do you do this to me? Why must you have such silly weather tendencies. Perhaps I may be over reacting, as the first official day of winter is tomorrow. Although that sun with it's smug little beams of light doesn't seem to be going anywhere anytime soon!

I always look forward to seeing the stormy rainclouds and swirling winds around this time of year. There is something about winter that is really magical; I cannot explain it, I just know that it is. What I always wish for in the winter (and secretly have since I was little) is soft, flaky, glittering snow; a little white winter all for myself! Many people have attempted to crush my dreams though - describing snow as slushy, grey and sock drenching. This will never get me down (although deep down inside I know they are right) and I will always keep my dream of a beautiful white blanket of fluffy goodness covering my street ( hmmm I think I've been watching too many American movies actually)

Happy winter wishes to everyone!

Beeje xx

Hey Soul Sister!

Mood: Strangely joyful

Music: Hey Soul Sister by Train

Oh how I love a good conversation with my best friend! Talking to my lovely soul sister Amy always puts a smile on my face. Lately, however, our conversations have been a mad rush - each of us quickly filling the other in on the dramas surrounding our hectic lives before having to say a quick goodbye to get back to our huge piles of homework. Our long chats full of meaningless gossip and girl talk are things of the past as we barely have time to breath anymore! I really do miss my phone conversations with that girl, not to mention how much I need one of our girls nights in, where we scare our selves silly with ridiculous horror movies and eat enough junk food to feed a whole third world country for a week.

I have so many memories of these nights and the funny things we got up to. I remember a year back, sitting against her bedroom door with our selected weapons of shelf ornament and DVD case to protect us because we swore there was someone in the house who was about to murder us with a machete at any moment. Perhaps a more hilarious moment was when my mum discovered a huntsman spider outside above the balcony door frame. This had me and Amy standing on the small cane chair in the far corner of the balcony hugging each other, leaving mum to fight the huge spider (which in reality was probably more scared of us at the time) with the kitchen broom (which took her quite some time considering every time the spider moved she would jump back and try to stand on the chair with us). These are the times I miss the most - making the best memories with the best friend I have.

Sometimes I wonder how on earth people survive without a best friend; for me it would be impossible. I have had always has one (and there have been several in my short 16 years on earth) and I'm glad I finally have that one friend I will keep with me throughout my adult life. It just really sucks that we hardly have time for each other anymore, but I guess that's what makes our friendship so strong - being able to go for weeks without seeing each other and being able to pick up the phone and to talk to each other for hours (or however long our study break is). Speaking of studying, I have a horrible Retail Certificate to finish before The Good Wife starts at 8.30 (hmmm there seems to be a pattern occurring here)

To all the other best friends out there in the world, try and give your bestie a call sometimes this week - you know it's so worth it.

Goodbye and goodnight everyone!

Beeje xx

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Dear Homework, Please Go Away...

Current Mood: Year 12 (which translates to stress, anxiety and any other horrible emotions)

Music: the Lady GaGa song that I cannot spell

At the moment I am not so successfully avoiding my literature assignment, wishing I had more hot chocolate and wondering how on earth I can be interesting enough to start my own blog. Blogging seems to be the new facebook - just a whole lot more personal. I think I'm ready though, to take my relationship with the internet to the next level. So here I am world!

It still actually mystifies me that I can be writing my little ol' blog from my bedroom in Perth, W.A. and another person half way across the world can get a better insight into my life than my next door neighbour! That being said i would like to say "Hello fellow bloggers, you are now my newest distraction from my crazy life!"

I actually never thought my twelfth and final year of schooling would be this insane/tearjerking/stressful/scary/exciting/insightful as I imagined it. Whenever I thought of myself in year 12 a studious yet social happy 17 year old came to mind. Oh how naive I was! Studios does not begin to cover it, happy is a rare emotion and I don't believe social is even a part of my vocabulary anymore. That being said, I think things are finally looking up (touch wood) and I'm starting to enjoy my last few months of being able to be a kid at school with my friends before entering the big wide world.

And my clock just brought me crashing back to reality. 9.49pm: I still haven't finished my english literature essay and my favourite tv show starts in ten minutes! Year 12 calls.

Love and sympathy to all my fellow year twelve students!

Beeje xx